Bittersweet

It was an amazing day, finally getting to hold you close, intertwine my fingers with yours, inhale that familiar scent. To finally be able to receive kisses on my forehead, nose taps and stolen kisses on the cheek. To hear you say "I love you" while gazing into your eyes. To laugh heartily, filled with a deep happiness that went unfelt for the longest time, simply because I could witness your antics that made you, you. 

Just 2 days left. Seeing you today reminded me of how much I miss you, how much I miss us being together, spending quality time with each other. Seeing you smile, and so eager to spend time with me made me feel so special again. 

I didn't want the day to end, but I can't stop what God has set in motion. I can't stop hours and days from passing by; I can only be part of that passing. To make the most out of it. But time is passing by too quickly; it doesn't seem to take pity on our circumstances. And Sunday is too near, too soon. 

My heart sank when you left tonight. It reminded me that a day has passed. A reminder that we're a day closer to us being separated by distance again for the next 5-6 weeks. This heart has become too fragile - I couldn't contain the tears inside. And i shed those tears silently, because I wasn't the only one in the room. Salty tears ran down my cheeks, staining my pillow. 

And my heart breaks. I'm afraid. I've tasted what it feels like to be with you again, and I can't go back to this LDR thing. It's so hard. I miss you so much.