ah, maturity

The process of growing up and maturing is a long and tedious one, and it must seem even longer for members of the XY chromosome. As a girl, the process of maturing has been one of complexity, and till this day, it continues to puzzle me. I've often wondered about the stages of maturing- initiation, transition, and finally, developing into a mature person- both physically and emotionally. Many times have I asked myself if I've bloomed into a mature young lady; but then, the question of "maturity" comes about. How can one define maturity? Or rather, how is maturity defined? There are times when I feel like I've finally crossed that 'mature' line, only to be told by my parents that I'm immature.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm more mature than most of my peers.

Or so I'd like to think. Maybe not.

Maturity. It brings to mind another question: Why do boys take a longer time to mature than girls? It makes me cringe to think that their childish behavior seems incessant. When will they ever grow up? WILL they ever grow up? Will there ever be a time when these boys can actually give you serious, rational, well-thought out opinions to life's questions?

I never got answers to any of those questions.

But that was me- 4 years ago, at 19. Freshmen at Monash, eager to enter a new phase of life and hopefully, to finally meet MEN.

Yum. Heh. I kid. ;)And I digress. 
You see, when girls get together, we talk. A lot. Usually about boys. Of course, there are other 'topics of interest', but we mostly end up talking about boys, rating them on a scale of 'dateable', or 'not dateable'. 
Yes. We friendzone guys. And yes, we're somewhat shallow at times. 
So there we were, mentally checking several guys off our list as dateable or not, until we came to a realization that...
THERE ARE ACTUALLY NO DATEABLE GUYS! OH THE HORROR!! 
Okay, so maybe they're not 'not dateable'. But we can never imagine dating any of these guys, simply because...they're boys. 
(Read 'boys' with a tone of disgust)

Naturally, what would follow would be a session of whining and complaining. Complaining about our fate; that we are bound to be spinsters because of the lack of men in our lives. So there I was, complaining ceaselessly, till this wise girlfriend of mine said something profound and rather life-changing:

"Maybe, we as girls should learn how to invest in guys. We always complain about the lack of guys, but maybe, we shouldn't treat them as 'off the counter' products. Instead, we should invest in their lives to see them mature into...you know, 'dateable men'"

Profound much.

So that was the story of how I came to ask a different question.
Now, with a little more maturity at the age of 22 (I hope!), and with many more wise, young girlfriends, I'm learning to ask, "What does it mean to invest in guys? How do I invest in them?" instead of "When will they ever grow up?"

Along the way of these 4 years, I've met many boys whom I've grown to love and cherish. They have been a vital and important part of my life, as well as my maturing process, and while I do complain from time to time about their immaturity,I'm proud to see them mature. I have come to love and respect them for being the men that they are today. Men in their own right.

No doubt that they did take awhile to mature. 4 years! But heck, it's fulfilling. And my job as their sister is to encourage them and to help them focus on what's important: on God, ministry, their dreams, how they should treat women, and also...
How we, as young ladies, view our men. Or what makes them a man. :) 
Ah, maturity. As I ponder over an ending for this post, I find myself asking another question. 
Why on earth did I write this? Maybe it's because of my tendency to think nonsensical thoughts during my free time. Worse, I think of my nonsensical thoughts as thought provoking. 
I think too highly of myself. Heh. 
Anyway.
You see, I have this friend. He's slightly older than the rest of us, but I've always seen him as a peer. Maybe because he's still studying. Maybe it's because of the way he acts, or the jokes that he makes. 
Or maybe it's because he finds disgusting things funny. 
But I realized that throughout our 4 years of friendship, I've grown to respect him. He has earned my respect because of his wisdom, and his love for God and all things godly. Because he's not afraid to reprimand us when we act un-Christian-like. Because he always pushes us, and myself, towards God. 
And then I come to another realization: 
That most of my male friends have been doing that for us girls. 
So, here's to all the men in my life. Here's to maturity-towards God, towards our future partners, and towards our friends and family. You have been nothing less than amazing, putting up with all of my (our!) crap, and yet, being so patient with us when we act like spoiled princesses. 
Ah, maturity. Like a few not-so-wise male friends used to say:

"Men are like wine. We 'taste' better as we get older. Women, however, are the opposite. They get sour as they grow older"

They did have a point. But they're deemed as 'not-so-wise' because of the feminist in me, and my female pride, refusing to admit that we become sour prunes as we age.

So, here's to my girlfriends as well! Let us all age gracefully, with warm hearts towards the people around us, even when they act in highly aggravating manners.

Yes, that's you, boys. :))

p/s: Thank you for letting us be part of that process of maturation :) 

What I Appreciate In A Guy

So. This is my long overdue post that I promised ChristinaLeong (:
I have a feeling this list is going to be loooooooong.


I think it's important to put a disclaimer here:

This list is not drawn based on any particular one guy. It's a compilation of the different things I see in different guys, so please, if you think I'm talking about you (whoever you are), don't be so perasan. 

1. IntelligenceAnd no, I don't mean good grades or whatever. Grades are a different matter. I mean, it'd be a huge plus if you were a good student, but what I mean when I say intelligence is that I appreciate guys who are able to read intellectual things- things about the economy, sociology, psychology, religion, philosophy- and actually understand and think about it. Not just read and pretend like you understand-lah! That's a freaking con job =.=
2. Sports or Other Guy Things (OGTs)Please, it cannot be shopping okay. I know I'm stereotyping lah! But shopping is such a girls thing! I mean sports- football, hockey, basketball, etc etc. Go out and do stuff please!? And not hang around girls all the time following them to do their shopping. Not to say guys cannot like shopping, but, it's just a personal preference. Don't bash me! D: 
And OTGs refer to other 'stereotyped' Guy Things; like video games, cars, guns, hot chicks.In short. I just like it when a guy knows how to be a guy lah.
3. Guys who are not afraid to tell girls they look goodHow many times have you girls posted a good picture on Facebook, only to get comments like, "Wah so pretty ah! But then, why your (this this this- insert whatever you want) look so funny one!" I know you are shy lah! But aiyoooo. What's wrong with telling a girl she looks good! WITHOUT adding the "buts". 
That said, I know very few guys who are able to do that. I can count them with one hand. And to those guys, thank you for making my day but telling me I looked gorgeous on that day :P
(OMG. Sounds so sad)
4. JestingDid I mention how much I love word play? I love it when a guy knows how to 'jest' with me- like, take a joke, or whatever, and use it against me kinda thing. I don't know how to explain this; but it's more like a playful argument. It's fun :D Oh. And with that comes a good command of English.
5. Good fashion senseGuys who are able to give good input while shopping is a plus. Not those who say "No. I don't like this style. So you won't look good in it". What kind of a reasoning is that! My body size different from yours, my face, body shape. Hello! We don't even have the same physical anatomy! So it should be based on what I look good in, not based on a particular style that you like. That is highly aggravating. That is why I like shopping with girls. They give you constructive comments :D 
Oh. And guys who think it's so funny to pick out frumpy clothes for you to try on. Really now? *facepalm*
6. FocusedNothing is sexier than a guy who's focused on what he wants to do in the future. I don't mean you need to be rigid and plan out every single thing in life, but I mean that you should at least have some sort of direction in life, and know what you want to do and achieve. 
And no. Just because you're graduated at 20/21/22 and are working already doesn't mean you're focused in life. Totally different thing. But having a job early is also a plus. I'd feel more secure. HAHA. =.=
7. Musically inclinedOr at least know how to appreciate good music. Would be even better if the guy has the same interest in music as I do. Instrumentals and Final Fantasy are the two biggest ones. If you know how to appreciate those, you will get a lot of plus points from me already. 
If you can play an instrument well, woah. *salutes* I will fall for you like 50% already.But that means I've fallen for half of the guys I know. D: 
And yes, you are allowed to like Justin Bieber. I don't see what's wrong with the poor kid.
8. Good with kidsGuys who are good with kids- they just melt my heart. End of story. 
9. Love animalsThis is limited to mammals only, like dogs, cats, horses, etc etc. I think it's cute when a guy knows how to play with animals. Sigh. So adorable can! 
Please don't come home bringing reptiles and lizards and spiders :/ Oh. And I appreciate it if a guy is not afraid to kill cockroaches. On a random note. Really lah. The guy I marry next time must not be afraid of cockroaches. If not we'd let the cockroaches roam around the house and later it will be infested! D: D: D: 
10. SportingDifferent from sporty okay! Sporting lah. Sporting enough to be made fun of, sporting enough to do random things, just sporting. Makes life a lot more fun, instead of always being so prim and proper. Although being proper is good under the right circumstances. Please don't act like a monkey when we go out on nice dinners. And I think I speak on behalf of most of the female population. 
11. Updated with technologyBecause when I want to buy things like HDs and earphones, laptops, it's good to have someone who knows the price range of things, and someone who knows how to bargain is a plus! :D 
12. Know how to spend money wiselyI understand the need to splurge at times, but when you buy shirts that cost 200 bucks! (Yes, this particular point, I'm referring to you Adrian) woah cannot tahan lor! Buy once every few months also. Haiyo. Money can be better spent elsewhere. You very rich lah now. Then you always say you got no money. 
Full of crap. :D