The Package

I wonder why I've always felt the need to be doing something constantly. I'm just unable to sit still for even 5 minutes. I'd get uncomfortable and be thinking that "hey, I could do something with this 5 minutes." Whatever it is, even talking nonsense to people counts. 

It dawned upon me last week during the CF farewell, that I was too engrossed in getting top results, for assignments and exams, that I lost sight of what was important. What have I been doing for the past 3 years in Monash? I've chased good results, that's all. Sure, I was fun at times when I wasn't bogged down with assignments, but that was it. I don't think I invested much in people's lives. At least, not as much as I could. My priorities were all wrong. Well, it wasn't exactly wrong to prioritize studies, but to make that my ultimate focus was just...not very wise. 

Unfortunately, I learned that a little too late. I have a semester in Boston, maybe two. Maybe I'll have a semester in Monash too. But those years that I wasted, chasing after grades, when I could've done so much more for the people around me. 

God wanted me to spend time with Him today. With exams looming, quiet times have been a bit rushed, with me feeling tired at the end of the day. He caught my attention today, giving me this longing to just be still with Him. Listening to Kari Jobe's "You Are For Me", singing along, meditating on the lyrics, and just really. Being still in His presence. Doing absolutely nothing. And that felt really good. My heart broke. God Almighty, had to catch MY attention, just so He can spend time with me. It's as if I was God =.= But yet, I was important enough to Him for Him to do just that. That reminds me of how much He wants to spend time with us. Even if it's just 10 minutes. I'm not pursuing Him enough. 

It was refreshing. I cried. I don't know why I did either. I just know that I felt very broken inside. It was truly a joy to "be still and know He is God". 

Unfortunately, it won't be long till I go back to my fast-paced routine of chasing material things. And it won't be long till God catches my attention again. But I'm glad that He has brought me to this place of realization. And I know I will do so much more for Him while in Boston. As much as I regret not realizing this earlier, I'm glad God made me realize this while I'm still a student. 

It was a lesson well learned today. Too often have I been going around and doing things, for myself, for people, and for God that I forgot the importance of sitting quietly with Him. I'm glad He reminded me. He's been knocking on my heart for quite a long time I should think, but I was distracted and I didn't answer that knock. But when I did, there was a package for me. On the package read: To Lindley. With Unfailing Love from God. And inside that package, was joy, peace and overwhelming love. I was too busy chasing after things that I nearly missed what God wanted to give to me. Maybe He's been knocking on your door to give you a package too? (: