Disappointments

So our conversation went like this:-

"You seem very very okay on the outside, but deep down I think you're very very disappointed with a lot of things"

So maybe I'm disappointed. Very. With church, with Christians, with men.
Maybe church is the biggest disappointment I have to deal with.

I'm in MUSA. I deal with orientation. That means I deal with new people who come into Monash. The question always comes up, "Try to get people to come to church".

Or something along those lines.

But I mean. I get so mad every time I hear that! The focus is all wrong. The focus isn't about getting people to come to church, but to focus on being a friend to those in need. Sounds cliched but yes, that is the truth. One doesn't focus on hunting for people who are church-less, rather, it's about us hunting for people who are friendless, or lost or lonely or whatnot. It's about being a genuine friend. Not about church. Not about getting people to church. That's secondary. Like, if you find out they're church hunting, then yeah sure, why not? But to make that as a priority? That's the wrong focus. It's not about befriending the person to be able to bring them to church. It's about showing them what a Christian is truly like. Granted, church is important. But really, when all you get are calls about who is coming to church, and why church attendance is low?

Attendance. That aggravates the heck out of me. All they do is call and ask why that person is not coming? Or whether that person is coming? Is that all there is to Christian life? Attending church? Of course you catch up and have discipleship with that person, but is it only till that extent? What happened to genuinely being interested in that person's life, their goals, their ideas and whatnot? Are we to build relationships just on discipleship and church attendance alone? That the only time we catch up is during discipleship and cell (which btw only happens once a month)? And perhaps the only time they call is to ask if we're bringing any friends to church, or are we signing up for bible study, or cell attendance? Even if you really love that person, you're not showing it because it only seem as if you're concerned about attendance and everything church-related.

Another thing. Pushing leaders to do a lot of things, even if they're reluctant. Reason: You're a leader. You need to set a good example.

That's true. That's extremely valid. As leaders we need to set a good example, but pushing leaders to a point of serving or doing things out of obligation? How is that serving God in the right way? You are only serving the church. Yes, you make "good quality, highly committed" leaders but that's about it. The rest of it? Unreal.

And maybe. I might be a little disappointed with the CF. And myself of course. And Christian men. And maybe, I'm too judgmental. But I'm done ranting for now.

And yes. I'm extremely hurt by it. I don't even know if it's right or wrong.