Lord. You know. I feel so consumed by this ‘thing’. I don’t even know what to call it. Dad’s not a bad person. He loves me, I know it. He shows it too, although indirectly. But after years of growing up with a man I couldn’t rely on, I learned to do things for myself. And now, I know so many great guys. Guys who are God-fearing, compassionate, kind, intelligent, everything. They seem like the perfect catch. But, the minute I see negative aspects of my dad in them, I immediately turn away. I overlook their strengths and amplify their weaknesses instead. I know, that we’re all ‘works-in-progress’. But part of me just refuses to accept anything less than ‘the finished product’. I just want to buy something of the shelf, and not take a tour around the factory that produces them. I don’t want to be involved in the process of investing in their lives to make them into men. And that’s my problem. Lord. I need to get out of this, but I don’t know how. It’s holding me back…from a great relationship with an amazing man that you’re working on. I know I’m not perfect myself. I’m highly flawed. But still. I just can’t accept even the slightest flaws in the guys around me.
“You are the potter, I am the clay. Mould me and make me, this is what I pray”.
Child. I know the hurts that you’ve been through. I’ve seen you ever since you were first conceived in your mother’s womb. And I love you despite all the flaws that you have, and the flaws that you think you have. But I AM the potter. And you are the clay. And I love you even though you’re still in the process of being a ‘display item’ on the shelf. And there’s a lot of heartache that goes through that process, girl. Times when you cracked, or times when your shape didn’t turn out the way I intended it to be. Or maybe the color just wasn’t right. The volume, the depth. Yet, I still kept working. I still am. It is a painful process. Reconstructing you. Taking the time to guide you in life, to see the choices that you made, both good and bad. And yet, I still chose to hold on to you. To keep spinning that potter’s wheel. Because I see the potential that you have in you, to become a beautiful vase to put colorful flowers in. It’s been a long process. And yet, the clay, unrefined, in My hands, you are precious because I see the potential in you, as a finished product. Of course, time and time again, there’ll be minor chips here and there. And I’d still have to constantly patch you up. But that’s the beauty of it all. The process of making you what you will be in the end. To know that something so beautiful could come out of something so unrefined. Surrender your hurts to me child. I know that you’ve longed for a father whom you could be affectionate with. Someone whom you could depend on. Someone who was a little bit more supportive and strong, even emotionally. And I know that you’re tired of being independent. But you know that you can always rely on Me. You don’t need to carry this burden by yourself. Surrender them to me and I’ll teach you the joy of investing in the lives of the ‘boys’ around you. To help you see from the Potter’s view. To normal eyes, clay is just that. Clay. But a Potter sees clay differently. He imagines it as the finished product. He imagines the various beautiful shapes and designs that could arise out from just that piece of clay. Child. Do not set unrealistic expectations of yourself, and of people. Instead, take the time to enjoy the process of moulding them into amazing men of God. That is your duty as their sister in Christ. And one day, you will be proud of how far they have come. Be patient, child. And remember, that I love you very much. And that I took that clay, and started to form you into something beautiful. And I’m still doing that every day. I’m moulding you and making you into a woman of great strength and character, not to be self-sufficient, but to support and invest in the life of a man who will be very important in your life- your husband. And to invest in the people around you. That’s what it means to invest. To take time, to correct them, to guide them gently, instead of expecting a finished product waiting for you to pick off the shelf. The value lies in the process of making, My child. Not in the finished product itself.
Lord. That was amazing. I never saw it that way. Thanks for putting things into perspective for me. I’ll try. And Lord. I pray for patience and strength to invest in the lives of the boys around me, into making them men. I want to see them mature. And I want to be proud of them. But it’s really so hard. And I’m tired. I guess I do expect Mr Perfect to drop from the sky. Thank you Lord. I love being called your child.
I know. And that’s why I always call you that. Don’t forget that I created you. I knew you ever since you were in your mother’s womb. I know your desires, your thoughts, your fears and insecurities. And I also know what you love. Take comfort in that My child. That I will always love you unconditionally. And that I chose to die for you on the cross, just because I love you.
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