It was quiet, and it felt like it was the right atmosphere where I can finally sit down with God after a long day. I removed all distractions, prayed in tongues to prepare my spirit, talked a little to God, and began devouring His word...
Only to be interrupted by a knock on my door.
I was definitely feeling annoyed. Of all times to be bothered. Impeccable timing. Glancing up halfway through my bible reading, I pulled myself off my bed and walked to the door with a tinge of annoyance. I opened the door, and found my sister waiting outside, asking me if I had already collected her iPod which I had sent a week earlier for repair. Understanding her disappointment, I tried to hide the annoyance in my voice, but perhaps, I didn't do it very well because she looked dejected after that, and walked downstairs to tell my dad to "collect it, because Lind can't get it yet."
I knew what was coming. My dad would be complaining about how I find it so hard to do small things for my family. Maybe it was instinct; maybe it's because you've lived with the same people for 22 years, that you know how they'd react to a situation.
And I was spot on about my dad's remarks. Reminding myself to be patient, I tried to calmly explain how I have had deadlines to meet and I can't get off work by 5.30 (Apple closes at 6). More grumbles and insinuations from my dad about my character, and I was starting to get ticked off because he wasn't letting me explain myself. Fortunately, he went to his room, and I went back to mine to continue where I left off in my devotion.
Except that I couldn't really do my devotion any more. More like, I didn't want to do it, because of what transpired between my dad and I. Then there was this little snide voice in my head going, "See. You weren't as polite as you hoped you'd be. You didn't really honor your dad. You have such an impure heart. How can you even bring yourself to even want to spend time with the Holy One?"
I was about to agree with that little snide voice, when a smaller, gentler, but firm voice said, "But you don't come to Me trying to hold up an image of perfection. I don't want to see that. What I do want to see is you coming to Me, in prayer, with all your shortcomings, weaknesses, and sins. Lay them all down at My feet. I have redeemed you when I died for you on the cross, and because of that, you don't need to feel or be perfect in order for you to spend time with Me. You think that you're not worthy to spend time with me when you've 'sinned', because I am Holy. But you forget that you have been made righteous through Me. Coming to Me in prayer is not about trying to be perfect. It is about knowing and acknowledging that you need Me."
How apt, since I was reading the passage of Romans 6.
"We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin." - Romans 6: 5-7
"When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus." - Romans 6: 10-11
He whispered, "You live under the freedom of My grace."
I am once again humbled by my Dad and King. He knows that I have a tendency to strive for perfection in everything that I do, and He graciously reminds me that all I need is Him. And that I don't have to tire myself out trying to make myself seem perfect (because it's something I will always fail at).
I definitely serve a Holy God. But I also serve The One who is Love and Grace. :')
Lord. You have a way of teaching me things. At the weirdest moments. I was praying about something else, and strangely, You've remained quite silent on that issue. But You've been teaching me other things. Reminding me to glorify You in everything that I do. It's great. And I'm excited for what 2013 has to bring. I want to experience more of You. I crave for this unspoken intimacy with You. I want to do so much more for You. But help me to be faithful in the small things that You've given to me as well. Thank You for loving me unconditionally.
p/s: My dad came into my room just as I was finishing up this post, to tell me about a really cute Samsung advertisement, without any traces of annoyance in him. Well, that was a sudden change of mood. I have to admit that I was slightly taken aback, but I'd like to think it's God's little way of cheering me up. :)
Oh. and here's the video, if you'd like to watch it. It really IS very cute :P
No comments:
Post a Comment